The truth about change is scary because parts of you have to die before you can live. Death is a scary thing and as a child, I was taught not to fear death. However, with death comes loss and with loss comes sadness. Sadness is a required emotion in order to find joy and true happiness.
I’m reminded of the movie Inside Out and how “Joy” was always the one to control the emotional board. She never let sadness do her job. When we ignore an emotion and bury it we grow cold and parts of you die. There’s a better way to have parts of you die in order to live.
Parts of you have to die before you can live because we tell ourselves a story every day. From the time your alarm goes off, first thing in the morning until you set that same alarm before bed. What happens in between is what really messes with our head.
The actions, emotions, and happenings of our daily life are known as a “Narrative” or story.
What Story Are You Telling Yourself Every Day?
When you let those parts of you die you have to mourn the loss, but only for a short time. Some people go their entire life without mourning the loss of something and they never realize that not mourning was the problem. Going through the emotions of sadness leads to joy and happiness. Letting the negative, dark and heavy things go will bring you to positive and light experiences happen in your life.
How Do You Let Parts Of You Die So You Can Live?
I found a great quote that really hit home for me and it may do the say for you.
Here it is:
Before you can live a part of you has to die. You have to let go of what could have been, how you should have acted and what you wish you would have said differently. You have to accept that you can’t change the past experiences, opinions of others at that moment in time or outcomes from their choices or yours. When you finally recognize that truth, then you will understand the true meaning of forgiveness of yourself and others. From this point, you will finally be free.
~SHANNON L. ALDER
We let our past experiences define us because if we didn’t then we wouldn’t know who we are and that’s scary. The unknown is scary at first and after a while, you become to love it. When I first had the idea to uproot my family from the Twin Cities and move to a small rural town called Roseau it sounded crazy.
My wife thought I was crazy, but something deep down told me that it was the right move. It felt very nice to be around family when we were at my sister-in-law’s place for the weekend. Just the fact that we could come and go without having to worry about where the kids were going or who would be home to be with them. We felt like we were living on an island.
So I applied to a major window manufacturing company, in which I have zero experience with manufacturing or windows, and I got the job. I took a $30,000 pay cut going from a Program Development Manager to a window assembler. We sold our house and moved in with my Mother-in-law and Father-in-law. It was a HUGE risk, but I followed my gut (which I’ve now learned to do every single day and it’s ALWAYS right) and on a daily basis I have the feeling of gratitude for it.
It turns out that because of my Volunteer Firefighting days from the Mound Fire Department, I could be on the EMS team within this huge manufacturing plant. Which led me to meet more people within the community. Learning my job and hearing about a newly opened clinic was fun and exciting. I was bound and determined to work in that clinic.
To make a long story a bit shorter, it happened. I had to tell myself you have to let parts of you die before you can live the life you want. I tell myself that daily…
That reminds me of another quote…
Here it is:
You have to die a few times before you can really
~Charles Bukowski, The People Look Like Flowers at Last
Increasing your awareness of each moment takes practice. Life can pass you by very quickly if you don’t pay attention to when it’s gone. The hard part is waking up mentally and physically to become aware of the life that we created for ourselves. Doing that requires work, determination, and community. We must constantly be checking ourselves and go through the sadness of our old life in order to create our new life. This may sound nebulous to you at first because it’s new and unfamiliar. Like taking the training wheels off your bike for the first time, it’s scary, but deep down there’s a warm feeling that everything will be alright. Can you imagine a life with that feeling always being present and not worrying about the unknown?
That’s the best part of your “Narrative” or story. Loving the unknown and being aware that you’re surrounded by that love is a great way to live. With that love comes the feeling that everything will be alright. That’s what daily practice provides you.
My narrative goes like this…
Each and every day I strive to ask myself “What is the best me I can be today?” Along with consistent internal work and determined passion to help at LEAST one person get out of their own way each day; I make time to be open to possibility. It’s something that takes daily practice. Going from a big city to a small town isn’t easy. Also, putting yourself out there to work as hard as you can and not expecting a thing from it takes a MASSIVE amount of gratitude for life. I am grateful to simply wake up, move around independently and do what I love every day. Anything past that is a win. Parts of you have to die before you can live because of what is waiting for you on the other side of the river.
Take each day as it is your last (and I know that sounds cliche, but it’s true) and be grateful for what you have. Loving every moment good or bad is about loving the journey just as much as the destination, if not more.
So start looking in the mirror every morning, noon and night and say to yourself, parts of you have to die before you can live the life you were destined to live. Being ok with the death will move those parts of your life into your sole as wisdom. You won’t forget those memories you will simply forgive yourself for holding onto them for so long. Tools that I’ve used to let parts of me die and start living are meditations, books, and videos from Dr. Joe Dispensa. (Check out the book Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself, that’s where I started)
For those who need to know the rest of my story about me uprooting my family all ya gotta do is ask, email me at [email protected] and I’ll tell you the rest.
After SO many emails, I figured I would give the rest of the story…
After working in production from July 2016 to October 2016, I applied for an HR position within the window company. I got that job, in which I had NO idea what I was getting myself into because I’ve never worked HR before. This was an entry-level position and was a great opportunity to get to know even more people in this community.
It’s in my DNA, however, to simply asking questions, figure it out, and working past my insecurities of the new position I just took. After being handed the task to coordinate that year’s health screening for 2,000 employees and their spouses, I did what I always do and just took it “one bite at a time”.
My manager gave me the task of making sure the newly open clinic was “taken care of”. That was a pretty open-ended piece because this company had never had a clinic. I simply asked myself, what would I want and how would I like to be cared for? So I stopped in daily and really made them feel loved. It was that persistence that paid off.
It turns out that they were looking for someone (actually more, but for the sake of the resources at hand it was better than nothing) with my background. So I took ANOTHER leap of faith and started in the clinic in April 2017. Leaving that company for another company wasn’t easy, but again my Gut told me to do it.
After completing the exams (Within a year!) for the ACSM-EPC (Amercian College Of Sports Medicine Certifed Exercise Physiologist), CEAS-I (Certified Ergonomic Assessment Specialist), FMS-I (Functional Movement Systems) and EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) I now can call myself an Occupational Health Technician. All of that school and training would be without mentioning my bachelor’s of science in Exercise Science from NDSU.
It has been an awesome ride so far. With each day I welcome the unknown with open and loving arms.
Continue to move to a place where parts of you have to die before you can live by doing today’s Workout Of The Day (WOD) and please consider sharing it with someone who you feel would benefit from it.
You Got This!
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Workout Of The Day (WOD) #242 | Parts Of You Have To Die Before You Can Live
Warm-Up – 5 Minutes Cardio (At LEAST)
- Lunge To Kick – 15 Reps Each Side
- Full Body Extensions – 30 Reps
- Mtn. Climbers – 30 Reps
- Supermans – 30 Reps
Cool Down – 5 Deep Breaths In Down Dog Pose
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Jed Kobernusz – ACSM-EPC, EMT, CEAS-I, FMS
Certified Exercise Physiologist
Body Weight Movement Coach
Email: [email protected]
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